Olympic Thoughts 2012

With the Olympics in the past, my thoughts continue to swirl about.  I learned a lot from the 2012 Summer Olympics.  I was checking out my recent Facebook statuses and was amazed to see the wealth of knowledge that I accumulated over the course of two weeks.  I thought I would reiterate some of the more important gems of the games here so that you too can be a fountain of Olympic trivia.

Olympic athletes survive only on McDonald’s food and Coke-a-cola.  Clearly you vegetarians and vegans are doing it wrong.  Just look at the fitness levels that these fine athletes have achieved.  I am going to quadruple my Big Mac intake and drink a twelve pack of Coke per day.  After a month’s time, I will be able to Still Rings like no other.  I’m loving it.

Which came first, the swimmer’s breaststroke or the whack-a-mole game?  More research is needed to get to the bottom of this question.  I believe the swimmers actually use the whack-a-mole game during training.

Is the Olympic theme song (you know: Bahm, Bahm, Ba da da da da, Bahm Bahm Ba-Bahm, bahm dah bum ba ba ba ba bahm — Can you hear it in my writing?  I worked hard on that.)  …is this the same song that other countries use?  Or is this just for us Americans?  Again, I’ll have to do more research to get to the bottom of this one as well.  Perhaps I can hire an intern or something.

Glitter in your hair and eye makeup enables you to do amazing flips.  I’m not sure why the male gymnasts haven’t picked up on this obvious advantage yet.

The country of “Trinidad and Tobago” is in fact a single country.  Their final medal count placed them on the medal podium once for a gold medal and three times for bronze medals.  However, based on the fact that their country is named two different things, they were actually handed two gold medals and six bronze medals.  Those Trinidadians and Tobagians are sneaky like that.  They left London quickly and quietly.

The two American decathlon athletes named Eaton and Hardee clearly missed out on an obvious sponsor: the Hardee’s fast food burger chain.  “Hi, we’re Eaton and Hardee and we are Eatin’ at Hardee’s.”  The endorsement commercials practically write themselves.  Easy money.

Although I have instilled my own patriotic pride into my boys (12 and 13 years old) even before the start of the Olympics, if a country puts forth an individual with the last name of “Tancock”, we are cheering for them.  It doesn’t even matter what the event is because we will be yelling and hollering for that guy.  Go Tancock, go!

My sons are convinced that the little female gymnastic stars can kick my ass.  I’m not convinced.  I’m in pretty good shape for my age.  Based on my observations, you just have to yell “two point four deduction” and the tears will start flowing.  Following that, you can sucker punch them in the kidneys.  I think they would drop like a rock.

There you have it—Olympic knowledge you may have overlooked.  Four years is a long time to wait for information like this to come around.  I can hardly stand the wait.

Buy my book to fill in time until the next Olympics.


6 responses to “Olympic Thoughts 2012

  1. “Hi, we’re Eaton and Hardee and we are Eatin’ at Hardee’s.” <– You're just too clever. 😉

  2. I haven’t gotten through this post I have almost died from laughter…i am scared to finish reading lol

  3. I have to follow you after reading this lol.

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