Ego Buster

I’m afraid that I am a little short on material.  So once again, I bring you a chunk of words pulled from my book.  Hey, did you know I’m selling a book?  Go to amazon.com and “click inside the book” and read the first fifteen or so pages.  Enjoy!

My Status Update Journey: A Quirky In-Depth Analysis of the World from the Voices in My Head

And when you’re finally holding it in your hands, life will be complete.

Once, when my boys were very small, we were headed out of town.  The snow piled up on the driveway overnight, but I was ready to go.  I was driving a van at the time.  Thinking that this would be even easier than normal since I only needed to go down and not back up again, I set out.  Kids strapped into their car seats and wife buckled in.  I punched the gas and made it all the way down to the mailbox.  At which point I somehow got stuck!  I’m not sure what happened, but the tires were spinning and we were not moving.

I turn to the boys in the back seat and proclaimed that we were stuck.  The reaction that immediately followed was something that I did not predict.  The boys started wailing and crying!  I can’t imagine the horrible image that was going through their tiny little minds.  It’s as if we were stranded in the middle of the field with no signs of human life in any direction.  I tried to explain that we lived about forty-five feet away and that I truly believed that we would be able to make it back home on foot if we needed to.

They only calmed down a little.

So, I started rocking the van back and forth.  Drive.  Reverse.  Drive.  Reverse.  No help there.  Still stuck.  Still crying.

On to the pushing phase.  I opened the passenger door to use it as a place to push and the wife took over at the steering wheel.

Kids still crying.

Now I’m pushing with all I have and the wife is rocking the van and we are starting to make just a little bit of progress when one of my boys yells out, “We need a big strong man!”

Pop!  Did you hear my ego explode?

A big strong man?  Hello?  My self esteem would have kept those boys in their seats for hours while I pushed the van with more than everything I had until we were moving down the road.  A big strong man.

I did eventually get us unstuck and moving.  And I didn’t even need to call the big strong man.

It’s probably a good thing that I don’t recall which of the two boys uttered those hurtful words.  Big strong man…

Buy my big strong book.

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8 responses to “Ego Buster

  1. Ha ha we need a big strong man…Kids lol

  2. Weird, it’s like I’ve read this before… 😉 Still just as funny. I think it’s a good idea to post stuff from your book from time to time.

  3. That was one of my favorite excerpts from your book! It cracked me up. It still does. I actually read that passage to my mom and her reply was, “Sounds like something you would have said.” I wasn’t sure how to take that.

  4. Had me laughing loudly.

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