Important Election Issue

A Facebook friend of mine asked me to cover a peculiar aspect of Election Day.  We’ll call him “Pat K” so that you can’t stalk him and yet he can know that I’m using his idea and thankful for it.  By the way, I went to grade school and high school with Pat K, so he is an actual friend and not just a Facebook friend.  I have a lot of Facebook friends, but most of them I picked up just hoping they would buy my book.  I don’t even know some of them.  Oh, wait, I’m not supposed to say that.  Strike that out.  I love each and every one of my Facebook friends like toothpicks at a corn-on-the-cob eating convention.

This wonderful Facebook friend posed the question “If someone votes absentee and then dies, does their vote still get counted?”  He went on to point out that a lot of people vote and a lot of people die, so logically there must be some overlap.

I looked into this scenario extensively.  As it turns out, there is an organization that tabulates the “vote from the grave” after each election.  They call themselves the “Dead Counters” which is an amusing play on “DC”.  Their goal is to tabulate the votes that should be “revoked due to death” prior to the eleventh day after Election Day when the final and official count is registered and certified by each state.  I found this information using Google on Wikipedia.  I made a call and got a hold of their spokesperson.  I attempted to conduct a short interview.  They declined to answer anything on the record because I’m just a blogger and not “reputable news agency”.  Actually, I made that last part up.  Actually, I made up the whole thing.

I was talking to my son about this issue and he came up with the flip-side of this question.  What if you vote early and then the person that you voted for passes away?  Do you get to vote again?  I doubt it.  I think you’ll be stuck with voting for a dead guy.  What if the dead guy wins the election?  What if the dead guy is still a better choice than the winner?

I have too many questions for you and not nearly enough answers.

Alright, back to the first question.  Someone really should count up those ballots from dead people.  Do you remember a couple of elections back when the vote in Florida came down to just over five hundred votes?  How many of those ballots were cast by soon-to-be-dead people?  Really, think about it.  It’s Florida.  The average age of the population in that state is one-hundred and three.  I think you really can find that on wikipedia.  There were probably at least five hundred dead votes.

Because of these questions, I’ll be voting on Election Day and not a minute sooner.  This way I’ll be reducing the odds of voting for a dead person by a dead person.

Buy my books and don’t be dead.


7 responses to “Important Election Issue

  1. Actually I know the real answer to this question because I am an incredible nerd. But I am not going to tell you because I suspect you don’t really care. I could be wrong though. And usually am so forget I ever said anything in the first place.

  2. you may have just assumed responsibility for the creation of a new cause geared towards voting rights for the recently deceased – likely the zombies are going to want to get involved in this stink

  3. Please! Watch the zombie talk. We’re a sensitive lot, and quite intelligent as well. Do you know how hard it is to properly strategize an apocalyptic event? Most of us research the issues a bit better than the living dead do before we vote … I mean, the deadheads, who vote …

Thoughts? Go.

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