Ipad App Updates

My ipad is packed full of very important apps that I use daily to increase my productivity.  Yeah, there is an app for that.  For instance, there is the calendar app.  I have it sync’ed up with my Google calendar and now I never miss an appointment.  Except when I do.

And then there are the ever-so important mind strengthening games:  Temple Run, Cut the Rope, Where’s My Water, Bloons, etc.  If you don’t know what these games are, do not go looking for them.  I said, “NOT”.  Watch your step here.  If you find these games, your life will be ruined for the next three weeks—perhaps longer.  Friends and family will fall to the wayside.  You’ll be all too consumed with  those crazy little monkeys popping that one last balloon as if your life depended upon it.  “Yeah, son, that school project that you asked me to help with that’s due tomorrow… I’ll help you out first thing next Tuesday. ”

I guess the best app on my ipad is the online Bible that I downloaded.  That’s right, I have the Bible on my ipad just the way God intended his word to be read: scrolling with one finger, adjusting the font size on the fly, changing the screen brightness to benefit your eyes.  Yes God, you’ve come a long way since etching these good words on stone tablets.

So imagine my surprise as I was checking for “app updates”.

Hey, are you actually imagining it?  Or are you just reading lazy?  Come on, play along now.  You have to “bring it” when reading my blog.

The room was dark and the burning glow of the ipad screen shined upward on Marcus’s face.  In this dimly lit room, the shadows on his face twisted his facial expressions into an unnatural state.  He appeared haunted, somewhat crazed, as he worked the touch screen with an experts command.

No wait.  Image this instead.

The room was dark.   Only light from his ipad and fireplace shined across Marcus’s body.  He was lying on the floor in front of the warm fire, propped up on one elbow.  His torso was twisted to the right which allowed the light from the fireplace to highlight the hills and valleys of his six-pack abs.  

Whoa.  That was creepier than I thought.  You don’t have to “bring it” anymore.

So anyway… I was simply looking for ipad updates for possible fresh releases of new levels to all my awesome time-wasting games when I saw the following.

“Bible – update available”

What is this?  A Bible update!  God is updating the Bible and he is sending me the next installment!  How crazy awesome it that?  Thanks God.

With my mind jumping and my heart thumping I pushed the “update now” button.  I wondered what more God has to say.  Will this next book continue where the last one left off?  Is this a Hollywood style prequel explaining the time before the “In the beginning”?  Or better yet, what I was really hoping for:  Jesus, the Teenage Years.

Of course, as it turns out, the application itself needed the update and not the actual story and words.  Still, I was a little disappointed.  I would have liked to read about Jesus in high school and how he served and saved the children enslaved in after-school detention.

Buy my not quite divine book.

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20 responses to “Ipad App Updates

  1. What a hoot!!! Love your thoughts on God updating the Bible. Very good, very good.
    I just bought an iPad Friday and will have to disregard your advice and download those games.

  2. I have an iPad and we are inseperable. But, I don’t play those silly games, at least not yet. It’s been over a hear. I did a stint with words with friends, but that was it. I, too, was hoping you might get an update from God. Keep us posted if you do.

  3. Like the others, loved the part about God updating the Bible. My Dad used to have a book that had writings in it about Jesus the boy. As thick (someday today’s iPad will be considered thick) as that sucker is they left a ton out, like out of 20 Gospels they chose the four that best supported what they want people to believe. They being the Catholic Church. It’s been further edited for other sects. I’d rather be playing DropZap myself.

  4. This is my favorite post yet, Marcus. 🙂 First, I love Where’s My Water! You bet that’s a time killer. Second, I’m pretty sure the second description of you checking for apps was really Burt Reynolds in Playgirl back in the 70’s. Third, laugh out loud at God sending updates! It sure would be nice to have dates and locations in Revelation. 🙂

  5. I have the complete works of Shakespeare app and occasionally he sends updates too… but sadly like God they are only app updates, not new stories, prequels to Romeo and Juliet, or King Lear the teenage years. Boo hoo is all I can say. Another game that everyone must definitely not engage with is Tower Madness… don’t say you haven’t been warned 😉

  6. Great post! Very informative. I really enjoyed reading this 🙂

  7. Don’t go looking for world of goo, you know while you’re not looking for time wasting games. Off to search bloons….

Thoughts? Go.

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