Voices in Pictures

This blog entry is what would happen if I wrote a picture book.   Pictures are not necessarily my thing–I enjoy words more than photos.  I very rarely include photos in my blog.  So this is me going too far with pictures.  …hopefully still enjoyable for you.

All of the following pictures were created by me.  Please share them at your desire.  This collection of photos is not one of those “share everything that is already floating about the web and that you have already seen on seventeen people’s Facebook pages”.  Perhaps I can make you smile with photo captions.  Let’s try.

ashtree

That was the biggest tree in my yard.  “Was” is the key word here–stupid Ash Tree Bug.   It has since been replaced with a much smaller tree.  I’d invite you over to sit in the shade of my new tree that we put in place of this one, but the shade created only provides shade for one person.  I’ll pencil you in for the summer of 2034.  See you then.

crawpudding

Apparently my mother failed to tell me not to play with my food.  And who would actually raise that thing to their mouth?  It’s looking at you while you’re about to eat its head.  Creepy.

dogpee

My dog has a question for you.

europeansoda

Perhaps my dog’s question was: What happens after you drink a bunch of European Soda?

fruitcracks

How can you not like this fruit?  I’ve never purchased it so I don’t know what it tastes like, but it makes me smile.  And I always take the time to arrange them properly when I pass by them.

happyeggs

Apparently eggs make me smile too.

healthylinving

I thought this picture was so awesome that I included it in my book.  Healthy Living and Candy in the same aisle.  My kind of store…

holybread

Too much time on my hands.  Someone pass the butter, please.

hooterssause

Did you know that you can get wings at Hooters?  I usually just ask for a glass of water and sit behind my sunglasses.

mexican

The same store that sells that “Healthy Candy” also attempts to hide the good mexican food.  Make sure you walk all the way down this aisle.  Don’t settle for the fake mexican food.

pringlesseason

And when exactly does Pringles Season end.  I need to stock up for the off-season.

pubesandhoses

When artistically designing a sign for your small business, don’t make the “T” look like a “P”.  Would you stop in and browse around at Pubes and Hoses?  I kept driving.

slowcookerhooker

Thank you Hamilton Beach for bringing to the public the world’s first set of “Slow Cookers for Hookers”.

speedhumps

Perhaps with the invention of the Slow Cookers for Hookers there will be extra time to slow things down a bit.

thought_graph

This is an accurate representation of how my wife’s brain works.  Although there probably should have been an extra bump in the level drawn in just after she lays down to fall asleep.

woodplug

Naturally occurring electricity without all that pesky lightning.

Buy my book which includes a handful of pictures.

Advertisements

30 responses to “Voices in Pictures

  1. I’ve been to Pubes and Hoses, once. As it turns out, “Hoses” doesn’t refer to the long skinny tube that sprays water, but it is instead a misspelling of the plural form of “Ho.”

    I became a man that day.

  2. The bread got me. You are crazy!! I am sooo sending you an email with a message from my dog. 😉

    • Your dog has a nasty way of communicating. That was gross funny. Everyone here took a look, but not Denise. She took the path of just hearing about it. I have a smart wife.

      • Denise is definitely one smart woman! I was horrified when Rich sent our son out to take a picture of it. It disgusts me every time I see it. It was from our hound dog many years ago, but no one seems to want to delete it. Rich just about died (laughter and mortified) when I told him I sent the picture to you. 🙂

  3. They sell food at Hooters? Hmmm, who knew.

  4. I saw your gravatar lined up with others of people who liked another blog, and figured anyone who advertises himself as “thatfunnyblogguy” deserves a look. Well, “truth in advertising” describes what I see so far! I gut-laughed my way through this specific post, and now leave this page for an extended look at what you have to say. Need I add I now followyou?!

    (Incidentally, “weggieboy” has nothing to do with yanking underwear, Norwegian forest cats, or skateboarding, a common mistake. I’d use another user name had I not committed to that one before I learned mispronounciations and alternative spellings of it lead to mayhem!)

  5. You are funny and I appreciate your checking out my blog, too!

  6. Michelle Hofacker

    Thanks for sharing!!! They are hilarious…glad I’m not the only one with strange pictures. I took one from a Truck Stop and Dairy Queen combo sign out by the road that said: ” Try our New
    Diesel Blizzard
    $2.99″

  7. ‘Slow Cookers for Hookers’ That is great, now I know what to get my grandma for Christmas. Thanks for the laugh.

  8. Pingback: Think of it as an e-picture book « Defy The Narrative

  9. Made me laugh. Never knew Pringles had a season.

  10. It’s a tie for me between Pubes N’ Hoses and The Slow Cookers for Hookers. Hilarious!

  11. Thanks for checking out my blog. I’m glad you liked my post.
    You really are a funny guy. 😉
    Loved the chance to vote… you’re good with the photos!

  12. I’m done in. My husband and daughter walked past me, looking alternately annoyed and concerned for me… I keep laughing, like I’m in pain…then I gasp, “Oh, Dear!” This repeats over and over again. Actually, at some point I honestly had to stop reading, just to bawl my eyes out. You have a wonderful ability to reach in and drag out that…funny stuff!! (How that other stuff comes out with it is a mystery to me…)

Thoughts? Go.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s